Friday, November 16, 2007
Oh why the hell not...
Did I mention that Ugh is seven friggin' feet tall? Here is her nice message to me. I've had to reply here on my blog because she blocked me from replying directly to her. Kind of goes along with everything else I've learned about her.
What's interesting is how entirely clueless you are about me, Paul, my son and our life.
VERY interesting, considering I thought I was his girlfriend until three weeks ago.
Paul made all of these decisions on his own, Julie and he decided against you. I have been friends with Paul since long before you two broke up. I know all about your relationship. He has shared those things with me from the begining, before we fell in love.
Beginning has two n's.
Um, no one is "on his own" when he's living with you, "sharing" things with you, and co-depending on you for sex and pot. And his deciding "against me" was news to me Monday night. See, he kind of forgot to tell me that part. He only said "I just don't know how we can make this work." And I asked him outright three weeks ago if he was in love and he told me "I'm not in love with ANYONE right now. I am sleeping with someone."
Our relationship has evolved over time.
Yes, ours did, too. Over the span of 25 years, in fact.
Has it occured to you that perhaps he was lying to you to minimize the affect it may have had on you?
Occurred has two r's. Affect is a verb, effect is the noun. And yes, that did occur to me, which is why I asked him repeatedly if he was just doing this as a way to ease me out of the picture quietly. He always insisted the only reason we had to remain separated until my divorce was final was for his own "survival". He swore up and down there was no one else. He said repeatedly that we would begin again as soon as I was single. Please refer to the September 12 email from Paul for details.
Let's be honest, your behavior is strange, eratic and highly unstable. Perhaps he was AFRAID of what you might do if you really knew he was in love with someone else. (And rightly so, it seems.)
Let's be honest, you weaseled your way into a relationship that was already "going through a rough patch" (Paul's words, from August of this year) and helped him by "being there" while he struggled. How honest shall we be? You and he talked about me without my knowledge. He and I talked about his wife without her knowledge. He left her and ran to me. He left me and ran to you. Hmmmm, what's next?
And he's not in love with you, no matter what he says under duress. Sorry but it's painfully obvious why he's "with" you.
And erratic has two r's.
According to you he is still lying to you about being in love with someone else and you are STILL making unwanted advances, not only to him but his friends as well.
I have no idea what this sentence means. But yes, he did say flat out that he was not in love with you. Love was never mentioned, only "sleeping with". Sorry, you need to take that issue up with him. He knows what he said to me. I know what he said to me. For once here, you're the odd man out. It's kind of funny - you have no idea what he said to me over the summer and into the fall, do you?
I have not responded to you in the past because I am ill suited for such games.
In fact, you're ill-suited for a lot of things.
I am only responding to you now to tell you to stop contacting me. If you have issue with this, it is with Paul alone.
Yes, it is. And I tried to contact him Monday night...remember? I couldn't talk to him for all the shrieking you did in the background. Made it kind of hard for me to talk to Paul "alone". Him never being alone anymore and all...
As for the substance abuse BS.....uh.....what? You know absolutely ZERO about my recreational time, or his! That's how you want to get him back?! Telling everyone he is drinking himself to death?! That is just plain wierd, Julie!
Oh dear. Where to even begin with this...I know Paul so much better than you do. He drinks. He drinks a lot. He has a serious drinking problem. I was genuinely concerned about him after several people in Athens reported to me that he is back on the party wagon, with you holding the reins. Since he's shut me out, I can't approach him about it. I went to his best friend, and asked him in confidence if he could watch out for Paul, because I was very worried about him. Early in our relationship (yes, he and I had a "confiding" stage, too, just like y'all did) he told me some things about his history with drugs that scared me for life. I know what he is capable of when he's under a lot of stress. It sounded like the stress of deciding to isolate himself from me for an entire summer drove him not only to you, but to new abuses. I wanted someone to be looking out for his well-being. I'll be glad to forward the email I sent Keith to anyone who wants to read it. There is not a trace of malice in it.
And I have no need to "get him back" - his having to be with you is enough payback for ten men.
And it's spelled weird, not wierd.
He is a fine man with a great heart, why would you try to do something like that to him? Especially if you claim to love him like you do.
Yes, he was a fine man with a great heart in my eyes, too. Until three weeks ago, that is. And I loved him. And I planned to be with him. And I thought he was my one true love. Until three weeks ago. You can't know the degree of hurt I've felt since I found out what he was capable of. I wait for the day that you know that feeling as well.
This ends today. I don't want to hear from you again. I don't want anymore fake profiles trying to dig up information. I want you to stop contacting my friends. I want you to forget all about me. That is providing you truly don't give a shit about me. If that is the case..so be it...I would love it that way.
Again, I'm not following this sentence. Whatever.
Paul is a grown man, a man who I happen to truly love.
Whom I happen to truly love.
Been there, done that. You know nothing about what love for or with Paul feels like. I can show you in one greeting card more love than you will ever experience. Just ask him the meaning of one phrase: "As far as the east is from the west." See if he can tell you what that means. Then see if he can tell you that he feels that for you.
I am tired of seeing him wade through this crap with you.
It was our crap. It was between him and me. You had no reason and no right to see him "wade through" anything. You have no right now to be tired of anything. It had nothing to do with you. You should not have been in the picture at all. You are not a part of Paul's and my relationship, our "crap", or our decisions. It was between Paul and me. You should not have ever been involved. You are the third wheel that caused the cart to crash.
Take the hint, please. Refrain from further contact. If you think that these e-mails are creating some sort of rift between Paul and I you are sadly mistaken. It is only causing problems for you.
Between Paul and ME, not between Paul and I.
There's a hint in here somewhere? All I'm seeing is a misplaced sense of having been affronted. You know nothing about what Paul told me over the course of the entire spring and summer. He lied about your existence. He swore he had not even kissed anyone (I specifically asked him.) He told me "NO! I'm not in love with anyone right now!" The day I confronted him about sleeping with someone else, and he finally admitted it, we spoke later in the day. He said the following things to me: "I am shocked to hear you are finally divorced. I don't even know what to say. I never thought I'd hear those words coming out of your mouth. If you turn your phone off, how will I be able to call you? It was great to see you this morning. Julie, I think about you EVERY DAY, even now. I just don't know what's gonna happen to us; it may be too late, you know." All these things, he said to me, three weeks ago. So don't get all high and mighty about our "crap". He gave as good as he got.
You have absolutely no clue what he's been telling me. Someone seems to have been playing both sides of the fence. For some reason, he felt like he had to keep me hanging on. Perhaps he didn't want to really give me up?
Look, Paul is all about convenience, all about ease and lack of effort. The day I found out about the sleeping with someone else, I asked him, "Why did you feel it was necessary to fuck someone else? I would have come up here and fucked you every night if you'd just asked me." Do you know what his reply was? "Not every night." You are convenience, you are every night. Don't delude yourself that you are more important than you are.
You are treading on dangerous ground. I will get law enforcement involved if you become any more threatening. Thank you.
You are seriously not very smart. I have never threatened anyone. I have done nothing that law enforcement would be the least bit interested in. Can you say the same?
You need to get off your high horse and realize that you are already history. Nothing you say will change what he and I had together. I know he is out of my life forever. I realize that. It's too late for us. But your overblown sense of self-importance is just annoying, plain and simple. You're way out of line. Paul's and my relationship was much bigger than you can even imagine. You should have butted out long ago, and let him solve it with me alone. I have no pity for you. You deserve everything you are going to get from him. He did it to his wife, he did it to me, you're next.
Now, I'm done.