So, years and years ago, the REM Hibtone single came out. I bought up about four copies, just cause it was SO COOL that they put out a record. I had a friend in England who loved good music, so I sent one to him. I had a friend still in high school in Rome who used to dance with me to the B-52's, so I sent one to him. I had a little brother who loved cool stuff, so I gave one to him. The last copy I kept, but it eventually wandered off somehow. I always thought, "I'll get another one soon." I mean, they were selling them everywhere in Athens for like 99 cents, so I figured I'd just pick one up one day.
Days turned into years, REM went on to megastardom, and the single became a collector's item. I kicked myself in the butt for being so silly as to give all my copies away. But I knew one day the single would wander back into my life. It finally did a couple of nights ago when my ex-husband, who still has connections to all things music, walked into the living room and handed me something.
Oh yeah. My life's complete.
It's an anniversary today. I just felt it was appropriate to mark the anniversary of my finding out the truth about the man I was planning to be with the rest of my life. The change in the weather that has come with this date brings it all back on some level. I'm happy in my life now. I'm glad I will never see him again. Everything - from my work to my relationship with my children and with myself - is better with him far away from me. But I was still hurt and betrayed beyond belief one year ago, and there are parts of me that won't forget, that refuse to forget. I think that's both good and bad. All I know is I've got some pretty serious scars, and right now I just feel sad about it all.
